Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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