apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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