I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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