arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
