I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
