I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Holy sore nipples Batman
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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