two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
