Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
