This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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