yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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