with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
