as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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