Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
