I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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