try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
