He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
