I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Dick very happy bro
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
