Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
