gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
