Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize