he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I understand Curling. That high.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
