belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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