i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
