If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
