You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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