I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
