sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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