You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
