if i can run in heels then i can drive
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
