Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I bet he comes in French.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
How's work?
Spinning.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
