More tranny stories later!
I puked a lego.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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