Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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