absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
