once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
