dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
pop tarts are not kleenex
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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