You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Randomize
