Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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