It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
