U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
