I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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