so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I think a kid would responsible me up
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
