thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
