So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize