some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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