Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
