your thong is hanging out like whoa
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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