I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
