yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
