so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
