you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
