i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
The adults are the big ones right?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
