You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
