We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
