I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
