another moral hangover. fuck.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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