Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
