The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
