I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize