I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize