everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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