i wish semen tasted like chocolate
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
