my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Can you bring me the toilet please
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
